Chapter 1: Lotus in the Rain雨中莲

My na is Lotus, and I have two youner sisters and a youner brother. I athe eldest dauhter.

我叫段莲，我有两个妹妹，一个弟弟，我是长女。

My ther''''s health had always been poor as far back as I could reer, but she dared not tell father. We dared not say anythin when siblins and I fell ill. We could only endure it.

从记事起，母亲身体就不是很好，但是不敢告诉父亲，当我们兄弟姐妹生病了也不敢说，只能强撑着。

My father would scold us, "Other people are healthy, able to work, and free froillness or pain. Why do you all have so ny proble? Why are all of you in our faly like these sshapen fruits, full of flaws...?"

因为我父亲会骂人：“别人家的人都身体健康，能干活，无病无痛的，你们怎么就那么多毛病呀？为什么我们家的都是这些歪瓜裂枣，毛病多……”

When we were sick, speakin up would only lead to re scoldin. Our faly was ioverished back then, so poor that we didn''''t even have food to eat, let alone ney to see a doctor.

生病了，如果我们还声张的话，只会招来痛骂，我们家那个时候真的是太穷了，穷得连饭都没得吃，肚子都吃不饱，又哪里来的钱去看病？

When I was around ten, ther told she hadn''''t had her period for several nths. Rerettably, I didn''''t understand what she ant by that. I lost ther that year, and as the faly''''s eldest dauhter, I was left to shoulder the faly''''s burden.

在我十岁左右的时候，母亲和我说，她已经好多个月没有来葵水了，可惜我不懂，根本不懂

葵水是个什么东西，也就是那一年我失去了自己的母亲，也就是那一年我开始了长女当家的人生。

The last ti I reer seein ther was when we went to the rket toether. As we looked at the stean hot buns on the street, ther hesitated for a lon ti before she finally asked uncertainly, "Lotus, do you want to eat buns?"

最后一次记得母亲的模样是母亲和我一起去集市赶集，望着街上热气喷喷的包子，母亲呲蹴不前，站了好久，好久母亲才犹犹豫豫地问我:"莲儿，你想不想吃包子呀？"

Hearin ther ntion buns, I iediately lanced at those plu white buns, then quickly averted aze as if by conditioned reflex.

听母亲一说包子，我马上不由自主地望向那白白胖胖的包子，然后立刻就条件反射似地收回了自己的视线。

I swallowed involuntarily, lowered head to look at own feet, and said, "I don''''t want to eat."

不由自主地吞了吞口水，低着头看着自己的脚丫子说道："